Baby Love.

We are smitten. All of us, even though most us are yet to meet her. The teeny tiny little girl who has scared us half out of our minds for a good few hours of Monday the 12th. And deprived of 38 hours sleep.

Miss Nelli Eve Phillips Culculoglu was born yesterday weighing in at 7lbs and 10oz.

And we are now grandparents and uncles and auntie in our crazy home Ed family!

And it is wonderful. We are so happy and grateful that our beautiful daughter and granddaughter are safe and content. Bonding beautifully despite the trauma and surroundings they had not hoped for.

And so to end the gushiest post, although there are likely now to be quite a few more. Here is who our home-Ed life will be filled with over the next days, weeks and months!

P.S great anatomy learning has been going on!

The thing is.....

Unless you are going to sit at the table and work to a structure, and goodness knows it could work for you, you have to have a bit of patience. And trust. And, I've realised, quite a bit of emotional resilience.

We don't do school at home, structure doesn't work for us. That may change by child or due to interest or requirement to just get things done, I'm thinking about igcse's.

But the good thing about learning to recognise that need to trust is that it doesn't really matter if a child spends all their time researching swords, castles, Greek gods or ponies. It doesn't matter if they're in their pjs all day doing it, unless we need to go the the library of course. They frown on that!

They can spend all day teaching themselves to play the recorder or playing tunnels because the next day they will spend it writing a short story or a novel maybe. Perhaps they'll sew or work out how much it would cost for six people to travel to Athens. They might teach themselves how to play the whole of David Bowies back catalogue and read a bit of Shakespeare.

The thing is, this is how it works for us.

Working, planning, making, waiting.

As a record of our children's progress this blog has been sorely lacking of late. I would of course like to reassure the invisible educational pixie in my head or indeed any real educational bod whom happens to read this as some form of evidence that life in this home educating household is carrying on as usual. Even if the so called facilitator in charge seems to be doing bugger all.

Because that's really not true. And the mess, piles, the undone and half done would show anyone who walked through our door.

We are planning our Christmas crafts and treats, making bits and pieces everyday. Sometimes more that just cuttings and sparkles on the floor.

We have parties and concerts to enjoy. And we're waiting.
Waiting for that fabulous bump to decide its ready to meet us all. To make a young woman a Mama and her siblings Aunty and Uncles and this Mummy a grandma or whatever name we find that suits! This baby has a wonderful family to arrive into, blessed with many great and great great grandparents that we can't yet decide on a name to call ourselves.

Still, as this is home Ed and its all about the learning, right? While we wait we can be looking up names for grand parents around the world! Oma anyone or just granny?

What would we do without technology?

It is this home-Ed family's best friend and mortal enemy. I wage a daily battle with myself and the children on usage, content, sites and time. At the same time encouraging its use to provide answers, explore the world and keep up with friends.

We would be completely lost without it to be sure. But I am also very aware of their increasing independence and therefore the times when I am not around. And that they have access to all that television or the Internet has to offer.

As a family we are trying not impose without reason and discussion. Hoping to reach compromises and trust and when breaches occur and lines are crossed to not punish or scold but to talk, explain and talk some more! Being mindful of our own behaviour when thinking of the restrictions we might be about to suggest!!

This has led to interesting discussions about pornography, advertising, time management and sharing. And it continues to be a worry, an awareness maybe and definitely an ongoing point for discussion. Current debate is on the merit of the coolmath website and should they watch the Disney channel?

But then I walk in the kitchen to see this. David teaching Mia to play risk and then draughts. And I think we're doing okay.

Chirpy happy Mummy post (in which I spend the day sewing)

Sometimes I forget that people actually read this blog and that is is not just an extension of my thoughts and emotions.  But it is that, and many other things too I hope, so please bear with me on those days.

Today is not one of those days, today is a happy chirpy post!

Thursday is a planned day. Our home-ed group day. Six hours of fun, socialising, a mix educational, crafty and physical activities. It's busy, noisy. sometimes chilly and an important part of our week. We all get a lot out of our time together there.

Today was no exception, only I was not there and Daddy was. I'm told all sorts of fun happened including the planting of 60 saplings donated to our group and donated on again to the village hall we use to be enjoyed not only by us but the whole community for many years to come. Art and craft, digging, new members and friends made.

I stayed home and ignored the mess.

I sewed, sung to myself with the radio up very loud and had some some much needed me time. I often find it very hard to be selfish when I have this sort of time and although normally I am VERY able to ignore the mess around our home, when left on my own for any length of time feel the need to tidy like a woman possessed. The last big chunk I had like this I spent the day completely re-arranging the lounge, clearing and sorting. It was useful, really it was, but not time best spent for me.

But today I did this...

cutting always takes the longest

nearly finished

their new home
(note to kids, please put your hats, gloves and scarves in these lovely boxes when taken off, please!)

time left to make the cape cut months ago!

ignore the mess, ignore the mess, ignore the mess

Yay! It's done, it fits and she likes it!

I managed to ignore the mess (I really am well practised!) and used the time doing something I really love.

I confess.............

I have a "clingy" child, she is our youngest child, she has now turned seven. She gets stressed, throws the odd tantrum, doesn't like going to bed alone.

And she just quit brownies.

She has also wanted, even entered the building in all the gear, to start ballet classes. She didn't though.

And I feel we failed. She feels she failed.

And now we find ourselves worrying and questioning and feeling judged. The big question rolling around our heads, is it because she's home-educated? Would we have this confident child, ready to run off to school and whatever extra curricular club took her fancy? If we made her? Should we have made her? Brought her crying and left her knowing, believing that she would calm down after a little while. Trusting the "she'll be fine" both the brownie leaders and the ballet teacher gave us?

Well we haven't, we won't. She really wanted to give Brownies a try, but every week an internal battle was going on in her head. Weighing up wanting to go with wanting to stay with us. This time home won. She just didn't enjoy it enough. She didn't, through no fault of the lovely leaders, feel safe and happy enough to stay. She told us she had fun and did like it when there, we picked her up happy and smiling. But really she was on an hour and a half long roller coaster of emotion that even the leaders could see.

And so now we say it's okay. Try things. When it feels right you'll stay. You'll have fun the whole time. Because I know something that all the people, who watch when this "big girl" cries or cuddles or clings, do not, or have maybe forgotten. We also have an actual big girl who was very much the same. Completely refused to join anything, wouldn't participate in sports day, got upset and had tantrums. Bur, She went to school. Nobody worried that she didn't do ballet or brownies.

Did she fail?

I also know a woman and when she was a girl, starting a new school, completely flipped. Hid under a table and refused to come out. Threw her bag at people and shouted. She was nine. She was me.

I also know that my "clingy" girl runs off and spends three hours of Saturday morning at a music and performing arts centre. Where she is now doing ballet, tap and three instruments. Followed by two hours at art club. And I barely see her for 6 hours at home-ed group and that she'll happily roller skate for an hour with all new kids without needing to hold my hand.

And so I'll take your withering looks and politely refuse your offers to take my girls (or boys) from me because they'll be fine in a minute. I will keep offering chances and new opportunities. And I will hug, reassure and promise to listen to my children's fears.

Because none of us have failed. We have made a choice.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mia's Monday

It's been a busy morning. After a busy weekend. It's always busy!

Spending more time at home is making me more aware of how the children choose to spend their time, watching how they learn, thinking about how best to facilitate their needs.

Mia is now 7. She has spent two terms at school in reception and has been home educated ever since. If I was to measure progress at all I guess she is the ideal candidate. She had not learnt to read, "do" maths etc etc. We choose not to impose any form of specific learning upon any of the children and I guess for want of a better label Mia is the shining example of natural learning. Picking  and choosing how and when she learns something. With us tagging along, occasionally throwing stuff her way when she shows and interest.  

As an idea this is what she has been up to this morning............

Art and breakfast. She loves using chalks and this is a desert island and sunset.

She was looking a empty plastic bottles and decided to make a raincatcher . She marked cm increments and then thought she'd like to make a chart about the weather.

Inspired by her art group sessions Mia has spent a lot of the weekend looking up James Rizzi and showing everyone the pictures she loves and how to draw in his style.

With my and her siblings suggestions on how to make a good chart and what should be included, this is how she thought it should be done! Temperature, weather symbols, time and rain amounts will be recorded.

more empty bottle inspiration. A rocket!

Her template of the moon. It was also used for the sun and earth so we talked about the actual sizes!

Her moon, with added chalk texture.

Creating her space scene

Being put on her bedroom wall. She is suspending the rocket from her upper bunk so that is will hang and sway in front of her scene.  We have talked about the moon, sun and earth and how we view them in the sky. and so ......

We are going to share this book to help us find out more.

This is just one morning of four children, choosing how and what they would like to learn. It is always changing, as are they, and we are always open to that. It is always slightly crazy. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it does. Sometimes they work together. But it is always slightly brilliant!!

Would it be different?

I was sat the other night wrapping presents for a boy about to turn 12.
His brother, almost 14, had spent most of the day creating a comic and birthday card to give him as his gift. And it made me think about how different things might have been.

Obviously David would not have been able to spend the whole day up in his room beavering away drawing and writing a comic book had he been at school, stopping only to play some guitar, eat food and out of choice do some maths. But would he have wanted to if he had still been at school?

I doubt he would have stayed up late into the night or given up his Saturday, I'm not sure he would have cared enough. The bond with his siblings would be very different I suspect. Now I'm not saying its all rosy in the land of home educating. On a daily basis I mediate between waring parties, break up fights and comfort someone who has been upset or hurt.

 But what I do know, having watched the changes that happened when they all went to school and the changes that have happened since they all came out again, that they don't put on a front anymore. They are who they are, which is lots of different things! And best of all its okay to be themselves. They can be affectionate, grumpy, moody, happy or sad. They can be all sorts of things with all the different people they meet and interact with. They have groups of friends at different places they go. And they wear their different hats when they meet up with them, be it art group, brownies, home-ed group or music centre. It strikes me as a much more adult way of learning about people and how society works. How you talk to people at the library or workshops, how you manage different friends and family.

Most of all, wether any of the above is down to home educating or not (and as I very wise person once told me "whatever system you choose to use you wont find out until they're all grown up") a birthday boy was chuffed to pieces by his brothers thoughtfulness and hard work. And we were too!!

The little things.

The season is moving on and although it's still bloomin' hard to drag myself out of bed we are beginning to settle again. Generally life is moving on, things get done and some things don't. Of course it's been raining, the washing piled up and the tumble dryer is dying a slow and painful death. But it's not been the end of the world! The voices in my head have calmed down and I am allowing myself to appreciate all the little things that make our days whole.

Simple things like a word search being completed or maths evolving from reading the numbers on packets. A. Long walk in the field where all manor of topics and ideas are discussed.

Or like yesterday where a by small and simple event happened. Ollie took part in sharing time at our home-ed group. Okay, not ground breaking news? Honestly this was huge! He never, never ever does. It's weird, schooly and quite frankly he'd rather hide than join in. So we don't make him. Sometimes I'll sit somewhere with him and we'll watch, or we'll hide or I will join the others or I will hide out in the kitchen as secretly I don't always like it either!

But yesterday this.......





Joining and sharing. And it made me appreciate again that the littlest things can also be the biggest and most important. I need to hold on to that and carry on do what we are doing. All these little moments of bravery, thoughtfulness, learning and sharing are the biggest part of our home educating journey, of our life.

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Weaving workshop

I tried and failed miserably to post about this the other day. It got eaten by the web dog or I pressed the wrong button, twice.
I just could not do it again!

But we had such a good time I'm going for the third time's a charm rule and having another go. But with less words.

So, Mary came.
She brought with her a magnificent table loom.
We were hooked.
A good day at iFlow was had by all.

Here are the photos, enjoy!



















- Posted using BlogPress, when I had five minutes spare!

Typical home-ed day, week, month? Or just typically us!

I have been thinking about my sparse blogging this past month. Have we been particularly dull? Done nothing? I have I finally purged myself of the need to share the minutiae of our home educating life with the world and therefore the all judgemental voice on my shoulder too?

Umm, no. Definitely not the voice thing! That's still there. And maybe it would be better if I was really on top of the recording what we do, in all it's mundane and tiny glories. Perhaps then the voice would get a bit quieter, seeing the words and photos that show our every days. What is normal, typical and educational. Proof that this is time well spent!

I have not done that. That would be dull! I would like the voice to recognise the piles of paper flooding our house with bits of writing, drawings and plans as proof enough without listing "today so and so did 10 minutes of this and 20 minutes of that!". But
despite my not writing it I think this has been a typical time of home educating life for us. Things have not stopped. Things have not changed. The world around us has. The light and weather has meant cooler days and less trips are organised. And who wants to get up in the dark and cold? Not me for sure!

It's been a time to stop and think, re-evaluate what is working for us. What do we want to be doing in the coming days and weeks as it get colder and darker.

So we've invested in new online resources and bought some new supplies. We are re-discovering old skills and trying out new ones. Planning gifts and makes for the coming season of a crazy amount of birthdays and Christmas with new members of our family.

We are here. At home more now than not. And for now this is typical for us.





(being a ninja, samurai warrior is only typical to one of us but educationally speaking he's been researching a lot about samurai and the photo is cool!)

- Posted using BlogPress surrounded by mess as usual, but also quietly engaged happy kids. Life is good!

Learning to trust and let go.

We did a small thing, it felt like a huge thing, turns out it was a good thing.

Learning our way has come to involve a lot of trust. Trusting that our children will learn naturally. Trusting that as parents we will know when to guide, encourage a little harder or when to stand back.

Yesterday David and I made a compromise based on trust. I left him alone at home longer than I have ever before and trusted that not only would he be safe, could look after himself but that he would also be productive and mindful of how he chose to use his time. He in turn could trust that, should he need me, I was only 20 minutes away and would be there whatever the need may be.

It worked! I let go and he made me very pleased I had.


- Posted using BlogPress, when I had five minutes spare!

How we're feeling = What we're doing

It feels like not much right now. But maybe that's because we're a little more under the weather than we'd like. Colds are lingering on and autumnal winds have been making us really appreciate the change in season.

These quieter days find us pottering and sharing moments of happened upon learning. Like trying to find the cause of our aches and pains.





And just accepting the change in pace that a physical and emotional recharge needs.

I am trying to learn to let go of the emotional guilt of not getting things done, because although well practised in turning a blind eye to the mess and procrastination I find it still hits me inside. I'm finding that it's good to have my project or book out and be working at something, leading by example and sharing when they then sit beside me with theirs.

And they couldn't give a hoot about the messy hallway bench so I will also try not to mind!!!

- Posted using BlogPress, when I had five minutes spare!

Thought I'd better...........

Get my brain sorted.
Show the mysterious home education bogeyman/woman we are still providing a suitable environment in which our children can learn.
And generally post what we've been up to!

Hmmm, bit stuck now.

I see evidence of book reading as I keep nearly sliding on them where they've been abandoned around the house and I found an atlas by the toilet (surely a sign a boy has been reading there!)

I hear evidence of music practicing that warms my heart if not entirely soothing my cold addled head.

And I am questioned and talked to constantly, even when I would like to sneak off to read in the toilet!

Oh, the conversations!
Sometimes I wish the house was rigged like big brother so I could capture, show and shout "THIS, this is what" when the voices ask well what have you been doing all day or when actual people ask "how does that work then?"

Then I could replay conversations about cancer, catastrophes and current affairs. A camera would follow the up, downs and all overs of the smallest member of our household going about making mess as she goes reading here, drawing there and imagining everywhere.

Or capture the middle two who learn so differently but share so much and manage to laugh and fight almost simultaneously.

A movement sensor could show the inner working of a teenage body as it struggles with hormones never felt by anyone before and feelings that can overwhelm in an instant but that can show compassion and understanding some adults still struggle with. It would reveal how the teenage brain works on a time schedule incompatible at times with normal life but that produces moments of concentration and creativity of which we can all be envious.

Maybe the cameras would follow us as we all cope with a shift in our family. As it grows and becomes smaller all at the same time. As we take on new titles like uncle or Grandma!! As the experiences we share gives us all new learning opportunities.

A week of a new month has gone by and this is our life, this month every month. Sprinkled with learning that even the casual observer would recognise! Maths and reading, language study and science experiments. We've even played with some Norse folk!





But it is the bits hardest to record photograph or explain that are shaping our learning and life the most.

- Posted using BlogPress, when I had managed to sit on the sofa and wallow in my headcold for half an hour!

It's working!

Well, I think it is. Although I would like to cross fingers and touch wood and all that sort of thing.

And when I say working I mean this home educating pathway we are hurtling along, tripping over and sometimes stumbling on (often at the same time!). Working in that one child is doing something that would seem to be a tick in a box!

It has come to my attention that Mia may be learning to read completely without my help and intervention. Of course I have tried, to intervene and cajole or maybe that should be encourage! Buying books, reading books, borrowing books and generally making books seem like a great way to spend a bit of time alone or together is perhaps the thing that has actually worked. But more and more she'll say "what does that say?" and I'll say "let's have a look together" and she'll read it. There a words that are tricksy of course but more and more the words I think she may get stuck on she doesn't.

Now, I know in the real world of school and schemes and reading records this is not amazing. A seven should be able to read by now shouldn't they? Well, Hmmm. I guess I just feel good about her doing it her way and it still working! We have respected her boundaries, not pushed or punished or badgered and still it works! It works because she wants it to, when she was little nobody forced her to learn and yet she did, numbers, letters, sounds or colours, animals, shapes and language. All these things were done in fun, out of curiosity and we still hold on to these ideas that we are here learning and exploring because we want to.

And "yay" it works!

Pottermore, updated!

At last. They were beginning to despair. But now, well very shortly they need to find the charger, the final two will be sorted. And I will know which colour wool to buy. As I have been charged, a la Mrs Weasley, with crocheting appropriate house coloured jumpers!!! I'm thinking Christmas morning will be fun.





Look how happy he is.

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{This Moment}

Inspired by soulemama.com, a single picture from our week.




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Science in action (it's all about the learning!)

One of those days when you just don't know what to do with yourself. You don't don't want to read, write, draw, play games or frankly anything your mum suggests. You bash your skateboard about for a bit, ask to go on the play station and your mum says "no". Then you find something that you you'd really like to play with. But you're foiled at the first hurdle, the batteries are bad. Man, can this day can any worse? You rummage through the kitchen drawers, wow, there are batteries aplenty! But you have no idea if they're good or bad and your mum is just no help.

But then your hero walks in the door. He's tall, wears glasses and just so happens to have a battery tester and is happy to go through all the ice cream tubs full of old batteries. He explains gently how they work and how to check them and let's you have a go. He talks volts and acids and you are understanding. Science is working for you. A bad day turned good.

Thanks Daddy!




- Posted using BlogPress, when I feel bleurgh but luckily super dad is here and has saved the day!

Ho hum home

A poorly, tired and grumpy home is not a happy productive home. And it feels like we are all suffering from one of the above at some level. There has been lots of this...




Quiet, leave me alone moments. And lots of "don't know what to do with myself" even though you've given me options and I asked you to print a ton of stuff!

This has resulted in my kitchen table looking like...




This morning and not a child in sight!

It's not all an educational let down, they're just doing things differently. They're making clues for treasure hunts involving riddles and maps and more writing than has been done in a while!

And we had a wonderful, informative and calming visit to our local Buddhist centre with our home Ed group.





They made s shrine and learnt about it purpose, re-enacted Buddhas life story and in a large group of kids ranging in age from 3 to 15, managed a relaxing meditation.

Our trip has resulted in lots of thought and discussion about how we choose to live our lives and how we want to talk to each other. So not all bad!

Must try to see the good in my kitchen table right now. someone writing, a teen up before ten, first aid being practiced and quiet reading.
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Kent Life

He was up way too early!

A day out with Granddad (and Grandma and daddy!) to visit the museum of Kent life and find out more about where Granddad grew up. Mummy got to stay home and indulge herself! So, yep I rearranged the lounge and tidied, fun!

Anyway their day out. Up super early on a saturday, ugh. To arrive at the www.kentlife.org.uk Museum and find that they were having their Hop and Harvest festival alongside all the other things they have to do.
They Picked hops and made barrels, learnt about living conditions of the seasonal workers and met some of the animals who live there. They won races and played games while the grown ups sampled some of the finest beers and cider Kent had to offer!

Feeding the piglets

A piglet race winner!

And a coconut shy winner

Barrel making

Hop picking

Everyone has agreed bout how well this museum was set up and run and a return visit is planned for next year to show me!

Today is good,

Some days it just works out!
Today is one of those.

Okay, so its only two o'clock and things can change in an instant. But, I'm going out on a limb and saying that today is good.

Mia working on some embroidery

Oliver writing and doing maths!

number islands

reading

Fitting everything in around lunch for those who want to eat or carry on.

playing, playing, playing!

They've played and bounced and run about. Shouted and fought, but they've also studied, read and drawn. I can hear David teaching Mia to play the guitar and showing her songs he knows. Home-ed feels alright!